LIFE ON GRAVEL
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Humanity-So What

9/8/2019

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This is what I am thinking about today.  Why is it so difficult for people to see how connected we are?  Who are you, what are you made of, we now know it is stardust too, cool!  They just found another skull and scientists think it is a NEW species, wow, but then, so what.  While I think ancestry is interesting, does it really change anything, does it make you feel superior knowing your relative from long ago was Napoleon, it's fun, but so what.  What does your DNA say about your health, longevity, allergies, every molecule, every cell is fascinating, but so what.  Let's add football to every night of the week, so we can watch this competition between humans, and get all excited, or any sport for that matter, we love the battle, but so what.  Work life, we struggle, we compete, we get money, we strive to be the best, so what.  Need to reproduce, you need a spouse, you need a family to take care of you as you age, you need someone to make you feel good, worthy, happy, or not?  You need to dress up every Halloween your entire life, or not?  Silly or serious, is it all really, OK?

Here you and I  are, on this planet, spinning around together, so, so what?  I think science and philosophers finally agree, our soul and our body are two different things.  So what does that tell me?  Well then everything is a choice, nothing is not up to us, our lives are our own and ours only, or is it?  Is it my age, that has me seeing and contemplating more, that nothingness and everything are the same, the sea of humanity, has been a giant playground that we are supposed to participate in fully without fear, because what the heck, it is a speck in what we consider time, my soul will dance with yours after, it probably did before, the me now, got here.  

So does it really matter that I want to leave the planet, and those who I have come in contact with, better for having been with me?  I think so.  When I look into your starry eyes, I should see the wonder, the connection we have been given in a great Love, so great and vast there is no fully conscious comprehension of it.  We keep falsely "thinking" I need to be better than I am now, or than you, to be worthy.  You can have fun and know we are the same anyway.  I can feel "it" humming in the background, singing in the background.  When I pay close attention it can take my breath away, make my heart pitter pat, dream the dream. 

So what if you screw it up, really bad, so what, you get to make that choice, it is ok, make another choice, and another, oops, yikes, whee.....  You are still going to be loved, because you are!  This is just our serious, silly, wild human experience.  Everyone of us is the same embodiment, a spoke in the wheel for now, but we will whirl back together, and set off again to create something, in the magical Love we are.  Just do YOUR thing, other's will do theirs, it is OK.

So thanks for being you and me!  So weird, yet today, it seems so right.  I should probably not turn on the TV, ah, so what, I love Sunday Morning.

***
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Goosebumps

9/1/2019

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Last weekend was my little town and church's 150th Anniversary, so the scene is set for 3 days of celebration.  We have carnival rides, music, parade, food vendors and dinners, all class reunion, and so many games and contents, pies, ugly cake, beard, legs, volleyball, bags, cribbage, cow pie drop, a showing of quilts, even a murder mystery and history tour.  It is a flurry of people all ages wandering through out our main street and park.  The weather was perfect.  The atmosphere joyous. 

This year I spent more time than usual at the fall festival because it was special, and I got to be a servant at the murder mystery dinner and a judge for the men's legs contest.  Both were new things to me.  I took a backseat and watched others play a three hour game of who did it, it was fascinating to watch people get out of their comfort zone and "play act".  That started my journey into "observing" my surroundings in a more profound way.  I really took notice of the families, many I no longer know, as our town has changed in residents as kids grew up, people retire and leave the planet.  It surprised me again that passage of time and how it impacts our surroundings. 

The biggest surprise was the goosebumps that just did not go away, some call them Godwinks, when you are in such a joyful state your body simply can't contain itself and your skin jumps up for joy too!  I was blown away with the level of joy and fun going on around me, it was palpable.  Laughter everywhere, hugs everywhere, I got them again now just writing about it!  That is powerful, feeling a sea of humanity in harmony, I got all verklempt, many times!  I feel so grateful for my life, so lucky that I got to live here with these people, worked with my hubby here, raised my boys here, breathe in this country town air in all it's silliness and strife.  It is story, but never the full story, our lives are simply only our own to know.

It ended with my church doing a special worship service where six of our past pastors came together and participated in the joy of our long journey.  If you thought I was verklempt the past two days you should have seen me on Sunday.  It was a packed house, the choir (who is always awesome) had extra's join in that shook the timbers, songs soaring to the heavens, and I am not kidding, our angels were there, I was lifted up in love and was not the only one crying for joy.  My favorite song and my Mom's ended the service, Go Now in Peace, and I could.  These moments I can conjure up when I need them now.  So I am thankful for all the participants in our village, being "together" made all the difference.  it helps me love everyone!  I love you!

I hope you feel such joy, feel such peace, and are not afraid.  It is the most wonder filled time.
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    Life on Gravel

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    City girl sharing stories of a life full of country glitter and other shit.

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Stories told here are gritty tales filled with country glitter. 
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